- Character: *dies*
- Me: haha we're just gonna ignore that
i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect
Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
if you’re having a bad day just think at least you’re not this girl…
they should hire ugly people like me to be models because then people will pay attention to the clothes rather than faces and i get to say i’m a model
Things people don’t get to choose:
- Sexual Orientation
- Gender Identity
- Mental Illnesses
Things people do get to choose
- To be an ignorant bitch-faced asshole to people because of things they have no control over
- Me watching 99% of anime: That voice sounds familiar
tips for new freshmen!
- no one cares about anything
- walk on the right side of the fucking hallway
- dont sit in the back of the bus you gotta earn that. maybe next year, champ.
- stop screaming. we’re all tired and miserable.
- GIVE ME MY LUNCH TABLE BACK
I love you.. No homeo Every Bro Ever (via frecklesandstitches)
"I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna kill the human."
"shoes in spanish"
I wasn’t expecting these to be clever.
literally nothing can ever top this
this is on a whole other level
secretly collecting ALL OF THESE.